These are just my favourite quotes from talks on day two of ESA:
(All from great, but anonymous, speakers)
After showing the results of a spatial statistics test: "...But still I was worried because that would be using statistics to prove something and that feels wrong."
On being asked how the speaker quantified earthworm abundance: "I used a non-invasive electroshock technique".
(I'm sure this is normal procedure, it just sounds hilarious to the uninformed).